Pets/Babies and Facebook

I don't know about the rest of you but people who post every single thing their baby has encountered on Facebook upset me. I have a fair number of people on my list that I added because of past relations even though we don't really keep in touch all that much anymore. I don't care if their baby is 25 inches and almost took a step yesterday and then fell and hit their head and was crying, that is not information that anybody needs to know really. Although if the sketch bags from Woodstock had known how long Victoria Stafford was they may have planned things out better in terms of removing the car seat.

It's nice to see that your child is the complete focus of your life which is a good thing for the kids sake, but it doesn't need to be on your Facebook.

Now I realize the irony of me having a blog and writing about how I'm angry about people who post things that nobody cares about, such as their babies, or what pisses them off or what movies they watched... BUT big BUT here you have to actually come to my page you don't have it rammed down your throat all the time on the Facefuck feed of useless information. Maybe before Facebook got all gayed out baby updates were acceptable because then the five people who actually cared would just go to your page and look.

But fear not young moms of the internet, I have found a way for you to continue posting your epic narratives about the young lives of your progeny, and the answer was actually found in something else I hate on Facebook. Cats and dogs that have their own page with their silly extended names given to them by their owners, where they add middle names and attach their last names to their pets first names.

But then it dawned on me heres the solution to the baby problem. If you moms who are on there were to just make the kid their own Facebook page you could post all the stupid updates you want there. Then you, your mom if she's jumped on the old people Facebook bandwagon, the dad... maybe some uncles and aunts and the two or three friends you have that get a moat in their pants because of anything baby related, could see what's up with the baby on it's own page. Then when the kid's old enough you can hand them the password to their Facebook and they got their whole life's worth of memories at their disposal. Almost in the same way you take your son to get their license or give your daughter a package of Trojan Magnums when she goes tree planting, which actually happened by the way, theres daddy looking out for his little girl!

Another group of people who could lay off posting shit online is the hardcore faggots that feel the need to post full albums of pictures of their shitty cars and how they're souping up their VTec. To people who do that instead of making a profile for your car, you can take the time you would've spent doing that, and just kill yourself please. Your cars don't burn rubber all they burn is my asshole.


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