Dineley On Movies: The Fire Down Below

I decided that a weekly contribution to the blog will be me watching and reviewing a random movie, usually one purchased at the Beat Goes On and hopefully relatively obscure. If it's a good movie hopefully my review will convince you to watch it, if it's a bad movie hopefully my review will entertain you in a way the movie could not.

For the maiden voyage of Dineley On Movies I have chosen, Fire Down Below starring Steven Seagal and Marg Helgenberger. Unfortunately despite the title the movie had nothing to do with Marg Helgenberger's kitty, but never the less was a fairly decent flick.

About 18 seconds in was the first good part, the name Kris Kristofferson popped up on the screen during the credits, despite his character sucking and him being a bad actor reading his name was very amusing for me.

For a brief plot synopsis all I can say is that this movie is basically Erin Brockovich on steroids.

This movie is typical Seagal, bad acting, with a bad pony tail and leather jacket to go with it. He's playing his usual super strong and fast cop who has no time for the rules, they just always get in between him and justice. As usual he dives right into the nine vs one scenes more voraciously than an 18 year old eastern European girl.

Despite being essentially a B movie this flick is pretty entertaining, 90's B movies held themselves to a much higher standard than most of today's garbage. If you make it through the whole thing you'll be rewarded with Seagal explaining to the bad guy about how his friend "Tyrone" will show him the ropes of prison life aka sodomize him mercilessly till he dies of old age or Syphilis.

All in all this was a stellar pickup for me, it came as a part of a Steven Seagal pack which had four movies on two discs and cost me like 7.99 which is pretty fucking sweet.


Popular Posts