Dan Brown + Firey Death = Awesome

So this post is only somewhat Dan Brown related and it's in a roundabout manner anyway but the intended subject made me think of Dan Brown and how him dying in a fire would be awesome, so the title stands.

Anyway somewhere along my life journey I fell victim to the television show 24. It waylaid me on a lazy Sunday evening when a friend and I were gathering for our weekly Simpsons Family Guy ritual then WHAM! two hour 24 premier. Needless to say we watched it. Why?? you might ask, the same reason people watch 90 per-cent of the other shit thats out there, because it's on TV.

I then proceeded to catch up on the previous five seasons or 116 hours in the span of about two to three weeks spurned on by the endless supply of cliffhanger endings to each episode.

I assume they use this tactic so that during the commercial break you're too busy wondering what will happen next to realize what kind of terrible person you are for being this engrossed in this ridiculous show.

But whatever it was entertaining and every season always came to a dramatic and awesome CONCLUSION. That is until this years finale where they got either cocky or scared that nobody would care next season decided to cliffhanger the entire day, leaving the whole thing more wide open than Heath Ledgers asshole during/after a cowboy camping trip.

Why bother leaving Bauer on his deathbed when theres a next season, obviously he will survive if theres another season.

I generally could put up with all the cliffhangers but this one really grinded my gears and made me think of Dan Brown and his shitty books that cliffhanger every chapter that shouldn't really be a chapter. Take Angels and Demons for example the book was 569 pages and had 137 chapters, for a whopping 4.1 pages per chapter. Dan Brown's books are so bad I read The Hunt for Red October immediately following Angels and Demons and it seemed like literature handed down from God himself. Brown makes Clancy look like the word of the Lord.

So in summation, fuck you writers of 24, and double fuck you Dan Brown.


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