Hockey... who needs who?

I would like to preface this post by saying I am in now way a lifelong hockey hater. I used to play the game watched it incessentaly and have a very intense collection of hockey cards which I am holding onto untill I can trade them in for a '59 Les Paul. On top of all that I consider Doug Gilmour and Eddie Belfour to be two of my personal heroes and I will bleed blue and white till the day I die.
Having said that hockey has gone from being something I couldnt live without, like morning wood, to more of a novelty time filler like masturbating before a shower because youre going to be getting all cleaned up in a minuite anyways. But for so many of my fellow Canadian compatriots there will always be a puck sized whole in their hearts. Clearly the Canadian hockey lust is out of control, our nations most succesful coffee shop is built on the name of the hockey playing drunk driving Tim Horton who paved the way for the Ed Belfours and Ian Whites of the future, we also feel he need to fill our highlights packages with KHL updates in the wake of the lockout just to make sure we can keep up to date with Evander Kane. Not to mention the media created circle jerk that is the World Juniors. It just baffles my mind how much garbage we will let get rammed down our throats all in the name of the all mighty hockey, which is basically the only "major" professional sport not the thumb its nose at Canada. There is this sese that we need hockey to survive in Canada that the sport is our lifeblood, when in reality hockey nedds Canadians. The NHL is ani incestuous old boys club getting rich of the Canadian addiction. I know i dont need hockey and i know that KHL highlights will never interest me, infact the only videos I watch from that part of the world invovle nubile brunettes showing off their "big body presence" like the one pictured below.
I would say the only Canadian who truly NEEDS hockey is the person who makes a living giving BobMcKenzie and everone else at TSN matching haircuts.I suppose you could throw in parking lot attendants and concession workers at the stadiums too. But my point is our country can go on without th NHL or even the sport altogether. The annual nation wide wankfest that is the World JUniors is another thing that can go out the window. People chalk it up to national pride, yet we turn a blind eye to all other amature sporting events with the exception of the olympics, and I have yet to see the table full of bros out at the pub in their frilly Patrick Chan shirts cause they love their country so much. I'm sure I will hear the same sad excuses for why hockey reigns supreme, that baseball is boring and basketball is for sissies. For those silly folks I suggest you look up a young man named Mike Trout or watch Steven Nash or Kobe or really any two good teams play each other, although i suppose they are all pussies since nobody will be forced to leave on a stretcher after being concussed. And for a really obvious example of why those sports are better they are actually playing. Anyways since all you hockey folks are probably missing this song and the rest of the world just loves Nickleback somuch I'llleave you with a video of Chad ad the boys doing theri besttomake an Elton John classic sound like everything else theyve ever done. Also I don't know how to embed a video from my PlayStation or my phone so I just pastes link sorry for noob tactics. Watch "Saturday Nights Alright- NHL-2009_10 Season" on YouTube


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