You Just Lost The Game (when peacocking goes wrong)

Yeah you all just lost, but this post is about a different kind of game and a different kind of losing.

There is an awesome book called The Game penned by Neil Strauss aka Style. Basically this book chronicles how the Dungeons and Dragons community came together on the internet to figure out how to systematically seduce women, the best part is it actually worked, they were able to run train on the unsuspecting ladies of the world, disarming the alpha male douche bags and claiming what had so long been denied them.

Of course with success women eventually became wise to some of their tactics, in typical American fashion the nerds consumed all the low hanging fruit. A few of the more enterprising and successful of the bunch began running classes, and writing books and such which then brought the entire lifestyle to the forefront.

But now I'm doing a rambling summary of the book which is both unfunny and doesn't do the book justice, you should read it, it's awesome. Anyways one of the techniques described for the seducing of the females is called "peacocking" this involves some sort of flashy display to alert  the ladies of your dominance such as seen to your right.

Now one of the "masters" of this art is known as Mystery he was featured prominently in the book and even had a reality show on VH1 about him taking a group of desperate dudes and trying to turn them into functioning pickup artists, this Mystery character was originally a magician from the Toronto area, and as you can see in this appearance on Jimmy Kimmel this is the sort of peacocking that he was using. (on a side not really ladies that's what you want us to do??)
For those of you too lazy to go to the video it basically consists of outlandish/garish clothing, weird hats, jewelery, man purses, basically anything that would cause you to make fun of someone if you saw them wearing it, or see below.

Now similar to that Fumke there are some who attempt to master this art of peacocking  with dreadful results like I witnessed yesterday. If I had Photoshop, and the time, and cared more than I do I would recreate what I saw digitally because even the best description of this man's get up will likely fail at capturing the ridiculousness of his attire, but let's try this anyways.

Close your eyes and picture a man, now if you closed your eyes open them again because you're reading this so closing your eyes is a pretty stupid thing to do. Now picture a man, on this man's head is what appears to be a cowboy hat, it's black and has all the typical cowboy hat features but something appears to be off about it, you can't quite put your finger on it but we'll save that for later.

Next this man is wearing a long flowing coat of the trench variety leather and black which on it's own would conjure up images of a vampire obsessed individual, and then it dawns on you, the coat does remind me you of a vampire obsessed individual, and that's what was wrong with that hat, that is not the rugged frontier embracing hat of a cowboy but instead that of the monster slaying wanderer Van Helsing.

So now picture Van Helsing but instead of typical mosnter slayer adventurer clothes under his coat this man has a black dress shirt on, complete with shiny blue tie, and I don't mean the good kind of shiny like a girls hair shimmering in the light just begging to be sniffed... ummm I've said too much... anyways this tie was bordering on rhinestone shine, and hanging in front of the tie is a big dirty Jesus piece in all it's sterling silver majesty. The Jesus piece chain looks really fucking daunting as you're staring at this guy in the bar, and then you see what he has attached to his wallet, and it looks like Marley's chain he forged in life!

Hopefully that description was enough for you to grasp the atrocity of this man's wardrobe, I know a picture is worth a thousand words and that was 200 or so at the most but I had to try, and I must say describing it was easier than shouting out "If I see Van Helsing I swear to the Lord I will slay him! A-ha-ha-haa!"  Anyways this has become more of a "missed connection" hate session so I'll leave you with some quality Jason Segel action cheers.


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